Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Wedding in the future?

I still think about my wedding...Ryan and I always wanted a wedding. Before we had Natalie, I was already planning my big day. I had the date set, an entourage picked out, already made arrangements with a church and was ready to make my deposit for my reception. But then, I found out I was pregnant with Natalie and my dream wedding was put on hold. 

Because of the surprising news, Ryan and I both agreed to get married before the baby was born. I got married in San Francisco's gorgeous City Hall. I held a lunch for all who attended the ceremony at Kincaid's restaurant. Then later that evening, we had a small intimate dinner with our close family and friends at a Chinese restaurant. The thought of my wedding reception being in a Chinese restaurant saddens me...don't get me wrong, theres nothing wrong with a Chinese restaurant, its just that, it wasn't the reception I envisioned for me. I remember crying to Ryan that this was not how I dreamed my reception would be. It still dawns on me on why didn't I pick a better restaurant or why didn't I plan a small cute wedding. At that time, I had so much thoughts going through my mind. I was feeling stressed and not to mention I was 11 weeks pregnant so I was feeling extremely emotional. But, now that I had time to think about it, it bothers me so much that I could of done things differently. 

Now, that we got Natalie's christening and 1st birthday out of the way...Ryan and I thought it would be the best time to finally have our wedding. This past year, we've been contemplating, going back and forth if we should still have our wedding. There are times when we feel discouraged because we're afraid of what other people might think if we told them we're having a wedding. And other times, we feel why have a wedding we're already married. And simply, its not cheap to plan a wedding. 

But when I start thinking about how cute it would be seeing my baby girl walking down the aisle as my flower girl...I get emotional and say yes to the dress! LOL! =D I don't want a big wedding. I just want a small, intimate wedding where only the people who matter to me and Ryan will be there. Its either now or never. Will I have a wedding in the future? Destination wedding? We'l just have to wait and see!