Wednesday, August 10, 2011

joys of motherhood

Three weeks ago, Natalie had a bad fall. She was playing in her bedroom when suddenly we heard her crying. We rushed to her room to comfort her and all she kept saying was "Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch....." as she was holding her left arm with her right hand. Our little girl was in pain & Ryan and I felt horrible. 

By now, your probably thinking weren't you guys watching her? 
I was down the hall in our room sorting my closet and Ryan was no more than 5ft away but was getting his uniform ready for work. He had no visual of her or how she fell. Ryan and I trust Natalie. We felt confident to know she was capable of playing in her room without needing our total supervision. We have never had a problem before until this incident. 

I felt awful. I was so upset with myself. I was full of regret. It is one of the worse feelings to see your daughter in pain especially if it could of been prevented. I was in tremendous guilt. I couldn't bear to see her in such agony. We took her to the ER to find out the bad news....it was the last thing I wanted for to happen and it did. She had two fractures on her elbow and will need to be put in a long arm cast for 4-6 weeks. Felt relieved to know surgery was not in the future. I remember sitting in the waiting area hoping and wishing it was just a sprain. I tried to stay calm and neutral but I was angry. I was upset. I had no one to blame but myself. Ryan and I kept the news private, we didn't tell anyone but our immediate families. I didn't want anyone to make us feel more worse than we already did. I didn't want people to think we we're bad parents. I didn't want to hear any negativity. I was ashamed. I was embarrassed. I kept it a secret for as long as I could. A few days later, I came to a realization that no matter how much you try to protect your child and make sure they are never harmed or hurt....things happen. Kids play, run, jump. Kids are physically active. And I'm learning everyday. And today, I felt better to share my story. This is part of being a mommy. 

And I am happy to tell you....after an orthopedic appointment today, x-rays showed vast improvement and she will no longer be needing a cast. She had her cast removed today and is doing better :) 
Before they applied the long arm cast, due to the swelling, she had a splint to support her elbow. A week later, she had her pink long arm cast. She had it on for 2 weeks before getting it removed today. She is happy and I am too ;)