Thursday, August 25, 2011

terrible two

The "Terrible Two's" stage. 
This developemental phase in our little toddler has effected hubby and I tremendously. Our Lily Pie has temper tantrums, says no to everything and at times refuses to do as she is told. We were confused. We became frustrated and impatient. There are times where we would just give in and give her whatever she wanted because we were so tired of all the outbursts. I first noticed these changes the week of our wedding. Her behavior was something we haven't seen before and couldn't understand why she was so angry and having meltdowns. We were of course concerned. But because we were so busy with the wedding, we decided to deal with it later and figured it was because we weren't giving her enough attention. But now that I had time to reflect, I believe she was starting the "Terrible Two's" stage. 

After reading so many articles, I came to a reasoning that there is a misconception that your child will not start this stage until their second birthday when in fact it usually starts much earlier. The good news is that this is only a phase and there is an end to the madness. Thank goodness! Researching and reading about this helped me so much. I can now understand this stage in my daughter's life and I've learned to recognize and deal with the situation. These temper tantrums and the disobeying is showing me and hubby she is trying to become more independent. Our daughter is officially no longer a baby.

"Up to this point, your toddler has focused on making you happy. They do silly things, smile, and laugh because they see it makes you smile and laugh. In the next phase (Terrible Twos) the child begins making independent choices which is very important to their development. The problem with making their own choices is that they have to disagree with you for the choices to be theirs and not yours. This conflict often frustrates the toddler and leads to crying and anger. Another issue is that the toddler sees the world from a much narrower perspective while you can see the bigger picture. They might not understand that they need to wear shoes to go outside. They just know they want to go out and perceive you are trying to keep them from doing that by taking time to put on shoes. Toddlers just want to explore their world to see how it works. Your job is to help them discover and participate with their surroundings so they can learn. However, keep in mind that they don’t understand what is safe, good or bad, or right or wrong. These are things you must teach them by guiding them in their activities. Some tactics to help deal with your toddler’s terrible two phase are: • Offer limited choices. Don’t just ask what they want to do, give them a couple of alternatives and let them decide. This helps your child make some decisions on their own. • Set limits to keep them safe, but don’t be surprised when they push these limits. • Don’t give into tantrums. If they learn that tantrums will get them what they want, they will repeatedly use this tactic. • Don’t just tell them “no”. Telling them what not to do doesn’t mean that they will grasp what the right thing to do is. • Distractions. When your toddler is upset about not getting to do something, distract them with something else. It is amazing how well this works and how quickly they forget they are upset. And lastly, don’t forget the good side of this development phase. During this phase your toddler is learning at a rate that will amaze you. They will do things that will surprise you. Your child is also learning great things such as giving hugs and kisses and when they imitate what you are doing it can melt your heart. So, enjoy and focus on the good, but be ready for the bad…" - talkingtotoddlers.com

Here is my "Terrible Two"